Quarantine is hard.I wish I could drink, it would be much easier if I at least had that.But I’m trying to do better,I’ve pretty much realised by now that all my coping mechanisms do more harm than good.

I’m have been cutting lately ,probably because things have been going so terrible in the world ,but even more because things have been going well enough for me to be afraid of losing everything. Honestly I don’t think it has that much to do with the world ,I’ve never been the one to look at the bigger picture, it has to be all the small things in my life, I don’t cut because the world’s about to end, no ,I cut because of things that effect me and only me ,I’m selfish that way.

Somehow even in the middle of the pandemic everyones life seems to be moving faster than my life ever does,makes me feel kind of left behind.

I’m still dropping weight pretty successfuly ,it’s my new unhealthy coping mechanism,fitness.Of course at some point I’m gonna run out of weight to lose so then I’m gonna need to find something new to occupy my mind…